photo by Gail Swanson
I am now two weeks into it and slowly recovering. I have never been so sick. Several times my husband wanted to take me to the hospital. I felt I belonged there but intuitively knew not to go. I felt I was fighting for my life.
Each time I would lie down to take a nap or go to sleep at night a spontaneous life review would start. This was not at all pleasant and caused me great anxiety. There was no rest to be had.
Every single night I dreamed of my mother who passed years ago. One night for the entire night I dreamed of 911. The firefighters came forward and were with me all night.
A dear friend from our teenage years passed suddenly and unexpectedly. He was the same age as my husband. As we reminisced about all the wonderful times we spent with him we were of course made acutely aware of the fragility of life and how any day could be your last.
The next day was the school shooting in Florida.
As I felt I was fighting for my own life I feel these things that went on signify how close I have been to the other side during all this.
Perhaps because of my abilities to see beyond the veil I could see what was really taking place. I certainly did not see the reasons for it all but I do know that my mother and the 911 firefighters were helping me through this.
In fighting for my own life was I helping others who were fighting for theirs? Perhaps I was working with my mother and the firefighters to help those who were making their transition during this time.
I do know that what we do is never just for ourselves.
I feel for sure I passed through a Gateway. I feel for sure this was an exit point for me but I did not take it. I have never prayed so much for myself and for others.
I believe in the power of prayer.
I had powerful people praying for me. I asked for the prayers at the beginning. I knew I needed them.
I am in deep gratitude for those who pray for those in need.
I am grateful for my life.
May our prayers aid in some small way the suffering of those enduring such unspeakable tragedy.
The Heart of Love 