This is The Root of Who You Are

This Is The Root of Who You Are

This is the root of who you are. That is what I heard on the morning of the Blood Moon Eclipse, Holy Saturday, the morning before Easter Sunday. As I heard this many things began to come forward. As if in an instant I became rooted in the knowing that what I was being shown was this simple, undeniable truth.

These words were like the conductor of a huge symphony as all came together to play my own individual and unique arrangement. All in an instant! It is difficult to put this experience into words but this is the closest to trying to explain it.

There has been a theme running through my life from the time I received the vision of Jerusalem and was told of my connection to Mary Magdalene so many years ago. There were so many stages of joy, sorrow, paralyzing fear and anxiety, illness and ultimately gathering the courage to do what I came here to do. The grief of going through memories of the time of Jesus and Magdalene were overwhelming. I was determined to get through it, overcome it, move on.

I thought I did until I went to Brazil to see John of God last August. I spent the entire two weeks crying from the depths of my soul. I had no idea why I was crying. But on the second day there as I walked with my group to the Casa I took quite a fall and my legs were bleeding. It was not until I had spiritual surgery and spent an entire day having visions that I saw and heard the meaning and parallel of that fall. I saw myself fall and I heard “Jesus falls for the third time.” I realized I had fallen twice at home before I got to Brazil and saw that the walk to the Casa was a parallel of the walk to the cross.

In one of the visions after my spiritual surgery I saw a room and as soon as I saw it I knew it had to do with Jesus. I heard myself call out his name in real time. I said “I am looking for Jesus.” After I said this I began to see him through the front of an open grid work with a star on top. I could just make out his staff and a bit of him. I could not bear to see him and that was the end of the vision.

All of these things and so much more came together on the Eclipse Morning and I was shown that I have been trying to overcome this, feeling it is my job on earth at this time to release myself from the grief of that excruciating event, always telling myself that it is about the Resurrection not the death. I want to move into the Resurrection but I was shown too that not only has the death seemed unbearable still in this lifetime but so has the love. The memory of that kind of love is almost too much to bear, to remember, to get too close to. I have kept him at a distance and as in the vision I could not bear to look upon him, still.

I am not at all sure what any of this means. I only know when I am shown something in a way that defies all time and space and you feel in your heart is truth I must pay attention. Perhaps I have been running from it rather than overcoming it. Perhaps I have been listening to my mind rather than my heart and perhaps the truth is there is no overcoming it because This is the root of who I am. After I heard those words this came pouring out of me.

I know there are many of my sisters who understand and are experiencing this too. This is for you. May we accept and honor the root of who we are.

I AM SHE

Today I accept the root of who I am

Today I no longer think I can move on

Recover from or process

What I carry in my heart

In my soul

In my body

I am She

Who sees

I am She

Who feels

I am She

Who carries the memories

The Love

And heartbreak

Of the Beloved

I am She

Who has witnessed

The majesty

And the brutality

I am She

Who has Returned

And no matter where I go

Or what I do

This is the root of who I am

I am She who remembers Love

I am She who carries the Flame

The truth bearer

The cosmic messenger

The flowering seed

Of the feminine divine

Rising like a phoenix

Resurrecting

Acknowledging

The Truth

And from this day forward

I shall run no more

Advertisement