The Heart of Love

Prayers, Poetry, Divine Inspiration by Gail Swanson


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That Most Sorrowful Day

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The women were there every step of the way
we agonized, we cried out, we fell to our knees
the men were gone
fear had overtaken them

I can only speak for myself when I say
I had no fear
not for me
the unbearable witnessing
of such things done to him
you could only be with him
of him

each step was mine
each time he stumbled

the weight of the cross
the taunts
it was a mob scene

I saw nothing but him
I felt I would not live through it
such was the overwhelming feeling
of being one with him

and even in this
I know it was a comfort to him
for he could feel my agony
and he could feel my infinite love

so I walked this way of the cross
and I tell you in complete truth
I hung with him on that cross
and on that day I was aware
of somehow relieving him
in ever the smallest way

for I absorbed his sorrow and I felt his pain
and with all my heart and soul sent him
the radiant burning love
that was transforming within my heart

and this he felt
and this he understood

it is impossible to make known the bitter gall
of that most sorrowful day

for there are no words to describe
the depth of his physical suffering

and the agony and beauty of being witness
to his magnificent forgiving heart

only the glory of his Resurrection
could ever ease the pain
for it would take something so miraculous and divine
to fill your heart with light and love once again

it was an honor and a blessing
to stand with the women
the ones who saw nothing
but the truth of heaven before their eyes

and we lifted him with our prayers
and we sustained him with our love
and it was our faces he did see
in these most brutal and terrible moments

and the power of unspeakable acts
and the glorious message of forgiveness
burned in our hearts all the days of our lives

may this message come alive in your hearts
and may his life be testimony
of heaven and of earth

from The Heart of Love: Mary Magdalene Speaks
Gail Swanson

 

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Calling Mary Magdalene

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Once upon a time I had a vision. I saw and heard of my soul connection with Mary Magdalene. My life has never been the same. From that moment on it was as if I stepped into another world and it turned out that world has been more real to me than this one.

That incredible vision opened the door to a great remembrance and that has continued on to this day. The experiences I have had have helped me to navigate this world in ways I never could have imagined. Glimpses beyond the veil are like a sacred healing balm that lift you and enrich you and aid you in your own inner knowing.

These things I continue to experience to this day cannot be explained for they dip into worlds and dimensions that take you far beyond what the mind can comprehend.

This is because it is a journey of the heart.

Today I called out to Mary Magdalene while taking my photographs. This heart is her answer. When I saw this beautiful heart I was taken back to the beginning when it all started, when she spoke to me every day and asked me to put her words into a book. As I was trying to “think” of a title for the book I distinctly heard “The Heart of Love”.

Today this Magdalene Heart of Love reminds me once again how she has been and continues to be a guiding force in all our lives whether we are aware of it or not.

She is ever present.

She is the Heart of Love made manifest.

And so are we.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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Love is Everywhere

 

I posted this image called Mary Magdalene and the Holy Grail on my FB page by Marius Michael George

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The next day I took this photograph in my backyard. I have been photographing these Christ Consciousness light emanations for the past few years.

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To me the similarity is astounding.

Next I was visited by a hawk who came as Messenger to prepare me to be awakened at 4am the next morning to receive an important message.

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Mary Magdalene Message

I am here in a myriad of ways. I stand with you and for you. Much is being repeated in your lives and in the world. Your awareness is magnifying the breakdown of the old and through the cracks in the breaking apart, your divine awareness shines the brilliant light of divine evolution.

As you have seen my divine soul signature made manifest, so it is that your own divine soul signature manifests out into the world creating love, balance and healing.

The changes shall continue. The awakening shall shake and wake each and every soul. Your own personal integrity, each and every single thing you do and say is now magnified in ways that are changing everything. The scales continue to tip back and forth and in more and more drastic ways. Therefore that which must fall shall fall and that which must rise shall rise.

Be ever vigilant in loving thoughts and actions for you shall be pushed and prodded to lose patience and to feel overwhelmed. You are divinely supported by the many. You are considered courageous and most beautiful.

We are ever at your side.

These things that have come before, lives, situations, people, places, everything, all add up to one thing, your own divine soul signature rising up. Your divine soul signatures are creating the beautiful colors and vibrations of love and consolation that are moving your world through this time of chaos and upheaval.

Meditate upon this.

Call it into being.

See it and feel it and most of all live it.

I speak now as a form of encouragement for I sense your weariness but also your fortitude and dedication.

All is well and all shall be well.

Love is everywhere.

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A Summer Solstice Story

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I was asked to read a prayer at our annual Summer Solstice Ceremony on the beach. I have many beautiful prayers written over the years and I am always open to receive a new one if it is meant for a certain time. I have learned that I will be guided to what is to be spoken even down to the last minute. This is what happened for the Solstice. I was guided to read, not a prayer, but a message from Magdalene and right before I left for the ceremony I was guided to a message from Joan of Arc. I realize now these messages are truly divine prayers.

The morning of the ceremony I received a phone call from my childhood friend’s sister asking me if I received something she had sent me and telling me her sister was now in hospice. She told me that her sister had been going through her things and came across something she wanted me to have. I never received it. It was an etching of the name of our friend from the Viet Nam memorial wall and I assume a note to tell me that the end was near.

I made my way to the ceremony feeling upset and unsettled. I prayed and prayed for my friend and her family all through the ceremony. A strong feeling came over me that she would leave today on the glory of the Summer Solstice. I still felt terribly unsettled. Now my name was called and it was time for me to stand and speak the words that were so divinely given. I stood in the Solstice circle. As I spoke these words they vibrated into every cell of my being. I began to feel two things together – peace and strength. I felt the truth and the power in every word. I felt stronger and stronger. I felt them – Magdalene and Joan of Arc and everyone else did too.

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I spoke the final word and I heard “Gail look up.”! I looked up and there above me was an enormous circle of birds swirling and swirling. I had never seen anything like it and I felt the power and the love the birds were sending go right through me.

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I knew she was home in the arms of the angels.

When I got home my husband told me she passed.

I realized later that I had seen her mother and father and our friend Billy and another friend come for her. The etching she was sending to me was Billy’s.

Godspeed Kathy.

Heaven rejoices at your homecoming.

Your brave and loving mission here is done.


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Let the Raging River Flow

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I was born remembering. I had a knack for spotting how the masculine was holding down the feminine and how the women just seemed to not know what to do about it. It was like a raging river inside me. As soon as I was old enough I began advising my mother on what to do about my father. I wanted her to, I needed her to, stand up for herself and let him feel what a strong woman is capable of. My mother was strong. My mother was beautiful and compassionate and so loving. She was also very damaged by being raised by a truly horrible mother. There are many reasons that allow a woman to fall into a trap with a man.

It was as if I had some kind of super power in seeing into these men. I could see their beautiful aspects and I could also see their insecurities and how they tried in subtle and not so subtle ways to keep their women down. I could not keep quiet. I talked to the women and I talked to the men. I talked to them about things no one ever talked to them about. Sometimes it was a breakthrough for them but most times it was a breakthrough for the woman.

We had a big group of friends and we all married young. I was nineteen when I got married and I immediately felt like I was suffocating. I began having terrible attacks of pain in my stomach. I felt trapped. I had no idea what to do. This is the life I always wanted and I was miserable. I felt like I was losing my mind. But I was not losing my mind. I was waking up to what I needed to be in a relationship. It shook me to my core.

We were all struggling, all the women. We were living in the patriarchy. We were activating ancient memories and wounds. We acted out. The power that was rising within us could not be stopped. It was necessary. Changes had to be made. We wanted to run but we had babies. We wanted to scream “I can’t breathe”!

I became acutely aware that the men had no idea what their partners needed. They were unconscious. Some of the women were like me, raging with awareness, and some had been put to sleep with a patriarchal anesthetic. I could not stop seeing. I could not stop speaking. I could not stop trying to balance it all, for myself and for them.

Years later I was to be awakened to the truth of why I felt this way so intensely. It was a time when Mary Magdalene was making herself known in many ways to many people. It was a time she came to me and nothing would ever be the same. She awakened me to an even deeper meaning of the necessity of the spiritual balance of the masculine and feminine.

I have not spoken of all I have been feeling about this Inauguration. There is so much anger and hostility everywhere and it has always been my role to bring forth messages of love and hope and spiritual encouragement. But look at where we are. How did we get here?

I am going to speak of something I feel is necessary for us to not only survive but to thrive. This is what has taken me back to my own beginning.

Here is the question that is burning in the hearts of so many women. How was it possible for a woman, any woman, to vote for this man who now holds the office of President of the United States? It is because too many are still asleep from the patriarchal anesthetic and in this unconscious state fears arise and falsehoods seem real. If a woman is used to being treated in a demeaning manner by a man she becomes numb to the fact that it is not only unacceptable but it is altering her inner divine feminine radar.

We must tip the scales until all women break free from this insidious and age old game. I am sighting here this most obvious reason that a woman could step into that booth and vote for a man, that man. It is because they are used to it. It is because it just doesn’t seem so bad.

I am talking here about one reason, but I believe it is a big one, that many women voted this way in this election. As we all found out, a lot of people were not talking about who they were voting for. We found out after, to our great surprise of the many women who voted this way.

I know many people feel this is all some kind of shake up that is ultimately for our highest good and that we should not be speaking negatively and just pray it is all going to be just great. Well everyone must do what they feel. I am just saying here and now – take a look at your life. Take a look at what you have become used to, what you put up with, what does not serve you – what makes you simmer inside but you keep holding it in. I am doing it. We all must do it.

Every broken heart connects to another and another and the energy of hopelessness grows. Open your heart and speak your truth. Speak it to one of your Sisters. Let the raging river flow. Make the change. Our future depends on it.

From my book The Heart of Love : Mary Magdalene Speaks

Each of you are here not by accident but by divine providence.   Each of you have had the stirrings of these things which we will now speak. Male or female the issue at hand is the divine feminine within us all. Do you understand the magnitude of this powerful energy being suppressed? This suppression over the ages has caused energetic eruptions of all kinds. The world as you know it is out of balance. The time is at hand for the feminine to come back into balance, and yes, we must hasten with our awakening to all this means.

The energetic power of women gathering in truth can be likened to breaking the sound barrier, a boom shaking and resonating in every dimension. Powerful divine forces contained in physical bodies, thoughts and emotions and deep inner knowings growing stronger and stronger. May we speak of these things for this is the issue and you hold in your hands the divine prescription of love that will change the world.

Women of the heart drop the sorrow and anger of the past and move sweetly forward for the new day is most assuredly dawning and you have been called to assume your rightful place, a place that is most honored and blessed.

This you know, this you feel, though much has been done to push you into a realm of forgetting. Do not fear, for the forgetting is false and has come to an end. Are you aware of how the sacred feminine has been denied, pushed aside and driven under? Oh yes, for you have lived it many times over and carry the pain and struggle.

As you breathe in the remembrance of who you truly are, you will speak these truths and say no more will I be quiet, no more will I settle for that which does not serve me nor the world nor the universe. I stand in my divinity, tall, beautiful and proud and sing the beautiful song of my birth so that all may hear it’s magnificent vibration and remember.

 

 

 


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2017 New Years Visitation

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I feel a bit melancholy as I always do at New Years. It is a mix of looking forward to a brand new year filled with hope and possibility and a looking back at all of my life and the loved ones who are no longer here. I have been dreaming lately of my mother and father. I think of them constantly. I always have and I always will.

Every New Years Eve I write down all I wish to release and burn it.

I then write down all I wish to manifest in the New Year. After I did this I came back in the house and called out to my mother and father. They came instantly…. together.

Vesica Pisces

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Vesica Pisces Gematria 153

Magdalene Gematria 153

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Vesica Pisces ~ Star of David

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My new Birthday Winter Solstice Star of David necklace

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When it all comes together above and below.

Happy Blessed New Year Everyone!

 

 


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The Second World

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As we continue our deep work within, the veil continues to thin. The veil continues to thin during this time on earth to open our hearts to much much more. To free ourselves from what we think is. For what we think is, is an illusion. And who we think we are is a speck of who we are truly destined to be.

These beautiful emanations of love have come to heal us of our ancient wounds and lift us to a place of peace and unity and comfort, for they are the Comforters.

These emanations resonate with every cell in our bodies and spark a remembrance of truth in our hearts. Gazing upon these colors and shapes is like listening to a beautiful symphony, one so beautiful it makes you weep. It is a symphony of love and truth and remembrance.

This is the next cosmic step.
This is the merging of worlds
Breathe it in.

I have been reminded at this very moment in time of a magnificent event I was blessed to witness. As my best childhood friend was in hospice and her passing was eminent I visited her late one night. I was sure she would pass in a matter of hours. Her words were garbled and she was in and out of consciousness.   However the next morning she was sitting up bright eyed and lucid and wearing lipstick. I was so astounded by this incredible awakening I asked her what had happened. She told me that the angels came last night and that she spoke with them. She asked them to give her more time and this they granted her.  I immediately got my journal and wrote down everything she said as she rose out of a very drugged and weakened state and spoke perfectly eloquently.

Sally’s message:

“The angels were looking at me and said, mind, body, spirit, thought, were to be together these last few days together. It is very possible the angels said, we could be together even though we don’t declare that we want to continue living in the physical form. That’s ok. Every day is anew, there is a penchant for that.

I told the angels I am best with both. I won’t be crazy when death comes. I am best with both…living and going.

The angels were happy, they felt miraculously happy, miraculously happy, that you are happy and free, that I was happy knowing that even every minute counts, that everybody mattered in my life.

I heard you last night Gail. And when I go I will touch hands with Mary Magdalene. And when I go, the spirit world will open up to you and what will be will be and you are going to be sanctified, unbelievable, and everything will be the second world for us. But for now our world is here and that is why we cry. “

May we all open our hearts to the second world for the time is surely at hand.

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photos by Gail Swanson


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Mary Magdalene Apostle of the Apostles

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Birgitte Fiche and Peter Christiansen

 

Thoughts on Magdalene’s Feast Day and the tragic event in Orlando.

I started today writing about the decree Pope Francis has made to elevate Mary Magdalene’s Feast Day July 22nd. To me this is not significant because a Pope decided to do this but because it represents a shift in consciousness and it says to me that the divine feminine is truly rising and that we are collectively responsible for this shift.

Unfortunately immediately after writing my thoughts on this I found out about the tragic and heartbreaking event in Orlando. May we continue our divine work as it is needed now more than ever and may we eventually see the fruits of our labor. May love and peace one day soon prevail upon this earth.

Mary Magdalene Apostle of the Apostles 10.06.2016

Vatican City, 10 June 2016 – As expressly wished by the Holy Father, the Congregation for Divine Worship and the Discipline of the Sacraments has published a new decree, dated 3 June 2016, Solemnity of the Sacred Heart of Jesus, by which the celebration of St. Mary Magdalene, currently obligatory memory, will be elevated in the general calendar to the level of a feast day.

http://press.vatican.va/content/salastampa/en/bollettino/pubblico/2016/06/10/160610c.html

Can you feel it? There are signs in the Heavens and signs on the earth. As we have awakened bit by bit, step by step, as we have dedicated ourselves to the feminine divine within and brought her out into the world, each of us in our own special and individual way, all of our effort, all of our love, all of our pain and heartache is being transformed and magnified and has merged into the energetic truth that is changing our world.

The decree made by Pope Francis elevating Mary Magdalene into her rightful place elevates us all. This decree is not only a decree upon paper, it is a decree that has lived in our hearts and our souls for eons. It is our soul’s purpose in coming back in this time and place to birth the Divine Feminine and bring this chaotic world back into balance. This can never happen without the true emergence of the Divine Feminine out of the shadows of repression and into the light of Her radiance and power.

Mary Magdalene is present in the hearts of all women. We are her for she is our story. As we have lived and breathed our own stories and our own truths we have merged with her and with one another bringing forth the emergence and voices of all women throughout all time into the world to be reckoned with, to be acknowledged and yes to be elevated on high.

Feel how this tangible manifestation of the acknowledgement of Her awakens the consciousness of the many. Let us be encouraged rather than discouraged. Let us pronounce that this long and difficult road and the strength and courage with which we have carried ourselves forward, no matter how difficult and unbearable it has been we have continued to revel in our own Feminine Divine. We have heard and felt all who have come before and all who come after. We have answered the call.

The tides now turn towards Heaven. The truth shall not be hidden. The day shall come when the beauty of the Divine Feminine awakens this planet out of it’s dark amnesia. We are here bringing her forth out of the dark and into the light. The time is most surely at hand.

This is a wonderful article by Bairavee Balasubramaniam.

https://bairaveebalasubramaniam.com/2016/06/12/july-22-2016-the-first-official-feast-day-of-st-mary-magdalene-apostle-of-the-apostles-eris-awakens/

And more evidence here on earth of the emergence and rebalancing of the divine feminine.

The Fortingall Yew standing in a church yard in Perthshire, Scotland is estimated to be 5,000 years old. For as long as people have been recording data on the tree, it was assumed to be male – meaning that it produces pollen instead of berries. Yet, this year three red berries were spotted growing on its branches, which can only mean one thing: at least part of the tree is changing its sex to female.

http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2015/nov/02/uks-oldest-tree-is-undergoing-sex-change-botanists-say
As I said I was writing this morning about the decree issued by Pope Francis elevating Mary Magdalene’s Feast Day and then I saw the horrific news about the massacre in the club in Orlando. As one energy was rising another was being crucified. This is from my book The Heart of Love Mary Magdalene Speaks ~ Magdalene’s beautiful message on All Divine Unions. I offer it here in acknowledgement of the beauty and the mission of those beautiful souls brutally murdered, their families and loved ones and all who have had to witness such an inhuman act.

I feel this is a counter attack for many of the Gay community celebrate the Divine Feminine within and this is another form of hatred placed upon those who express the truth of who they are. My prayers and tears go out to all who are suffering.

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All Divine Unions

The energies are rising. We must merge with these energies, encouraging the masculine to embrace and awaken to their own Christ light and Mary Magdalene within.

How is this done?

Speaking, for gradually the suppression shall be cleared away and the vibrations of the true voice shall be heard and remembered. For those who do not wish to remember, it is their choice but the time is at hand and the opportunity ever present.

Shall you enter the vibration with full understanding, faith and remembrance?

You know in your hearts the truth of the message. You feel in your souls the growing, the urgent call to act upon your deepest feelings. These feelings are the beginnings of remembrance for the forgetting has been strong and many have grown comfortable with only what they see and hear with their earthly senses. We ask you to go beyond this world and as you, the feminine aspect of God, move into the power and truth of your being, you shall create an opening for the masculine to follow.

The time is at hand. Even now some of you are thinking, I have not known this exchange, we speak another language than that of the masculine. And this is truly how it feels but I say to you that I have lived, and I say to you that I have known the extraordinary beauty of a love that transcends all thought and all that is brought forth by the mind. For the soul is the heart of the memory of love and the mind is the anesthetic that leads to the forgetting. For love is where you come from and love is where you shall return.

Begin now to feel this most powerful remembrance. Begin now to vow to open your heart and your soul by quieting the mind and meditating on this sacred symbol so lovingly given. For this is the key to the heart. This is the divine union. This is the new dawning and you are the living prophecy of love.

You are the women come in this time and place to transcend all, to release this infinite power, to use all you have to awaken, your eyes, your ears, your voice and most of all your heart. For I am with you and the silence must come to end. I am speaking now for at this time there are those who have awakened to believe all that is being brought forth. You are among them. You are chosen and you have chosen.

Let us begin to merge our collective energies
Let us step into the power, the beauty, the heart of all there is.

And let it be known and let it be heard that those who have chosen to merge with like kind, woman to woman and man to man have heard and felt the call to be and absorb, to merge and unite with the purest energies of love. You have chosen to expand and accelerate such loving unions. You have chosen to transcend all worldly boundaries. To live in the truth of you heart’s burning desire. We wish you to acknowledge your beauty and to move into the spirit of these most blessed unions. For woman to woman you continue to send out powerful feminine vibrations meant to heal all of humanity and the planet. And man to man you celebrate the feminine aspect of God within yourselves and this aids the world in ways you can not comprehend.

So let us unite in love. Let us acknowledge every aspect of love and let us acknowledge the truth of love. That each loving union is blessed and sacred. Each loving union answers the call. The call to truth, the call to enlightenment and the powerful emergence of the divine within each and every being. All divine partnerships must now come out of the shadows and stand for love. For fear and denial have created the forgetting and the memory of love shall shake these untruths.

We shall rise in love
We shall embrace our power
We shall lead the way
I stand with you and for you
And I say to you, the miraculous begins here and now.

This is the way it is.  You wake up to write something encouraging and it turns into a nightmare.  The dark and the light.  May we find a balance one day and live in the light of love and peace. 

Gail Swanson

http://www.theheartoflove.com

 

 


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Fire Goddess

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This powerful and symbolic image was sent to me a few days ago. I thought it was so appropriate for the Spring Equinox but I was waiting for permission to post it. Now I see why it was meant for today.

Today we wake to yet another tragic event. Today we are reminded yet again of what human beings are capable of.

As it becomes harder and harder to believe we are going to rise from this time of chaos and violence we grow stronger and more determined to remember who we are.

We are the women warriors. We are warriors of love. We are on fire with the birth of freedom and the devotion to reclaim all that has been lost.

The divine feminine continues to rise in every way imaginable. She will not surrender. She will not be driven under. She will continue to rise on the breath of every woman on the planet. She will create peace moment by moment. She will turn her head from war and injustice and raise her head towards balance and wisdom and sovereignty.

She will continue to rise.

She will breathe the fire of truth.

She will sing the song of remembrance.

She is the mother bestowing her blessing on the land and her people.

She is the living waters of life and the fire rising from the ashes of the past.

She is burning and birthing.

Do not underestimate her power.

We the women are awake.

We the women stand together.

We the women are a circle of power.

Brutality and war can not stop her from rising.

SHE is the ALL

 

This was the Spring Equinox Message I sent out and it is exactly what I would have chosen today.   It is from my book  The Heart of Love : Mary Magdalene Speaks

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Birgitte Fiche and Peter Christiansen

 The power of the natural balance of the masculine and feminine is a power most mighty and a most sacred healing balm.

All that lies beneath the destruction of this most natural state is beautiful and born of heaven.

How shall the balance be restored?

When the divine feminine connects to the stars and heaven and breathes the remembrance into her physical body on earth, this shall create a power reborn.

When the masculine connects in this way, igniting his own divine feminine and heavenly qualities, he may then acknowledge this sweetness and grace with loving acceptance and one shall see the sweetness in another and another.

In the living sanctuary of your heart, all that has been suppressed, all that has been wounded, all that cries out for love, is now ready to be uncovered and released.

I understand your feeling that the process is never ending but this I am afraid is the process upon the earth.

Your choice to be the shining stars in the face of such anguish illuminates in ways you shall never know.

Allow yourselves to open now in ways you have not allowed for in this allowance fear shall be shattered and love and peace shall reign.

And as you embrace these ancient ways and call out the names of all who adore you, the luminous fibers of your heavenly being shall illuminate and connect with your heavenly home.

Continue to call upon the memory of love.

Hold fast in your desire for truth.

Seek only the truth within.

For there you shall find….your own sacred heart.

 

May love and peace prevail everywhere ….

With Love,

Gail

 

 

 

 

 


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This is The Root of Who You Are

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This is the root of who you are. That is what I heard on the morning of the Blood Moon Eclipse, Holy Saturday, the morning before Easter Sunday. As I heard this many things began to come forward. As if in an instant I became rooted in the knowing that what I was being shown was this simple, undeniable truth.

These words were like the conductor of a huge symphony as all came together to play my own individual and unique arrangement. All in an instant! It is difficult to put this experience into words but this is the closest to trying to explain it.

There has been a theme running through my life from the time I received the vision of Jerusalem and was told of my connection to Mary Magdalene so many years ago. There were so many stages of joy, sorrow, paralyzing fear and anxiety, illness and ultimately gathering the courage to do what I came here to do. The grief of going through memories of the time of Jesus and Magdalene were overwhelming. I was determined to get through it, overcome it, move on.

I thought I did until I went to Brazil to see John of God last August. I spent the entire two weeks crying from the depths of my soul. I had no idea why I was crying. But on the second day there as I walked with my group to the Casa I took quite a fall and my legs were bleeding. It was not until I had spiritual surgery and spent an entire day having visions that I saw and heard the meaning and parallel of that fall. I saw myself fall and I heard “Jesus falls for the third time.” I realized I had fallen twice at home before I got to Brazil and saw that the walk to the Casa was a parallel of the walk to the cross.

In one of the visions after my spiritual surgery I saw a room and as soon as I saw it I knew it had to do with Jesus. I heard myself call out his name in real time. I said “I am looking for Jesus.” After I said this I began to see him through the front of an open grid work with a star on top. I could just make out his staff and a bit of him. I could not bear to see him and that was the end of the vision.

All of these things and so much more came together on the Eclipse Morning and I was shown that I have been trying to overcome this, feeling it is my job on earth at this time to release myself from the grief of that excruciating event, always telling myself that it is about the Resurrection not the death. I want to move into the Resurrection but I was shown too that not only has the death seemed unbearable still in this lifetime but so has the love. The memory of that kind of love is almost too much to bear, to remember, to get too close to. I have kept him at a distance and as in the vision I could not bear to look upon him, still.

I am not at all sure what any of this means. I only know when I am shown something in a way that defies all time and space and you feel in your heart is truth I must pay attention. Perhaps I have been running from it rather than overcoming it. Perhaps I have been listening to my mind rather than my heart and perhaps the truth is there is no overcoming it because This is the root of who I am. After I heard those words this came pouring out of me.

I know there are many of my sisters who understand and are experiencing this too. This is for you. May we accept and honor the root of who we are.

I AM SHE

Today I accept the root of who I am

Today I no longer think I can move on

Recover from or process

What I carry in my heart

In my soul

In my body

I am She

Who sees

I am She

Who feels

I am She

Who carries the memories

The Love

And heartbreak

Of the Beloved

I am She

Who has witnessed

The majesty

And the brutality

I am She

Who has Returned

And no matter where I go

Or what I do

This is the root of who I am

I am She who remembers Love

I am She who carries the Flame

The truth bearer

The cosmic messenger

The flowering seed

Of the feminine divine

Rising like a phoenix

Resurrecting

Acknowledging

The Truth

And from this day forward

I shall run no more