When I was seventeen my heart was broken. The Vietnam war took my Billy out of our idyllic world. He never came back. He came last night in a dream. It was real and true. We expressed our love for each other and resolved much of this deep old irreparable wound. I am forever grateful that such things are possible. I wrote this for him many years ago. This is for you Billy. I love you so.
I’ve carried your smiling face
in my heart
all these years
I wasn’t quite aware
just how close you’ve been
until I saw your picture
a visit to your sister, Pat
an old album
with a psychedelic cover
snippets of memories inside
long hair
bell bottoms
innocence
as I turned the page
and we were laughing
I was stunned
back into reality
at the sight of your sweet face
smiling up at me
from that old yellowing book
how shocking to see
your smile again
the same exact one
that remains in my heart
to this day
my tears flowed
and the pain was as fresh as it was
on the day we were told
we would see that smile no more
time does not
heal all wounds
we just remain wounded
and carry on
as if we’re not
until something
a word
or a picture
jolts us back
back to that original place
of grieving
for what is lost
what really gets us through
is the shining smile
that can never die
the smile of a boy
we called Billy
The Heart of Love 