“When the first chakra is disconnected from the feminine Earth, we can feel orphaned and motherless. The masculine principle predominates, and we look for security from material things. Individuality prevails over relationship, and selfish
drives triumph over family, social and global responsibility. The more separated we become from the Earth, the more hostile we become to the feminine. We disown our passion, our creativity, and our sexuality. Eventually the Earth itself becomes a baneful place. I remember being told by a medicine woman in the Amazon, do you know why they are really cutting down the rain forest? Because it is wet and dark and tangled and feminine.”
~Alberto Villoldo
The last few years have been filled with magnificent joys and heart wrenching sorrows. It feels as if we must be stronger than ever to ride the waves of these kinds of huge changes that seem to come one right after the other with no breathing room in between. But breathe we must, and believe we must, for in between the sorrows and the joys the messages still come, the unmistakable messages of love and hope from places beyond what we can see. This is our grace. This is our spiritual foundation. This is the purity from which we enrich and strengthen our spirituality.
I have felt weakened, yes. Have you? I have felt lost and stuck and unbelievably weary. I have felt on the edge of falling with no net beneath to catch me. You can be taken right to that edge and we can see in world events what can happen when you do not have a foundation of grace that you are consciously aware of.
What saves us? The inner knowing that there is something so much bigger, that in spite of all the heartache and violence we are subjected to in this world, we have a divine purpose. Each time we rise above our own individual circumstance, each time we are not too far gone to recognize the grace and love that is showering upon us, each time we grasp the message coming from a loved one who has passed or a heavenly guide and benefactor, we rise to a new spiritual height.
We may feel we are failing, we may feel we are weakened by the struggles and the sorrows in our own lives and in the world but we are being tempered in the fires, we are being purified and transformed. Sometimes we have to will ourselves back from the edge, as we call out for heavenly aid. We must remember that in the fire of transformation and transmutation even our will is being tempered and strengthened. Spiritual alchemy is at work. Our awareness even through times of what feels like brutal change is the saving grace; constant vigilance and awareness of a higher view, constant releasing the obsessive need to know why things happen, rising above any kind of victim mentality and being present in every single living breathing moment. Being present to the smallest joys, a cardinal singing, the way your beloved animal looks at you, a kindness given, each and every precious grace.
And of great importance is allowing yourself to feel. Feel your sorrow, express your sorrow, feel your anger, speak your truth. Holding these feelings in for the sake of thinking you must not give in or that this constitutes weakness or ungratefulness, pushing down feelings, suppressing your emotions. This will only build up and up and become something much bigger than just dealing with it as it comes up. Know yourself. Know what you need to release, to move on. Feel it, cry it out, move on.
When you are awake, even through times of great stress, you will feel a pull, you will hear a calling. Nature will speak to you. The earth, our divine feminine home will call you to her. Go. She will nurture you and rebalance you. She will unburden you. She will remind you who you are. Wrap your arms around a tree before you go to work and thank her. It will change your life.
I believe in my heart that above other things the disconnect from nature, from the earth, is symbolic in the biggest way possible of the disconnect to the divine feminine. This has now manifested in so many ways. Ignoring humanities connection to mother earth and the desecration and disregard for her has shown itself in the suppression and dishonoring of the feminine in every possible way. The spiritual connection to the earth and to the feminine in all her majesty is crucial for our spiritual enrichment and survival. The disconnect from the resonance of the earth has led us down a treacherous path.
So when you feel the call, answer her. Answer her for all those who can not hear, who will not hear. Answer her through peaceful times and challenging times. Offer up your own connection to her to something far greater.
I wish you all a year filled with love, joy, wonderful health, and infinite blessings. As this new year begins I have so much to look back on and so much to be grateful for. I am sharing some of my challenges and amazing experiences here with you. I believe in sharing our stories. I believe that in sharing our stories we connect with one another on deeper levels and we help one another in ways we may never even know. In telling our stories we give them honor and meaning. Whether you write your story or speak your story to even one person it has an effect on you and whoever receives it and I believe even on those that may be across the planet. It has taken me a long time to get this big story out. I hope you find resonance and meaning here.
I have been writing this over the course of several months. I titled it “The Higher View”. One morning before waking as I was turning over, eyes closed still sleeping, I saw a hawk flying over me from right to left, the same direction I was turning. The hawk was so close it was literally only about a foot above me. It seemed to wake me so that I could consciously watch and look closely at him. I had the impression that this was a male. I could see every aspect of him. I could even see his wings vibrating softly as he flew. It was so amazing because he was flying over me in resonance and time with my turning over.
As he flew over me slowly as I turned and he was just about to fly out of my vision I could see he was holding some prey in his mouth. The amazing thing about this is that I woke in the middle and consciously knew this was something extraordinary and important and focused as hard as I could on watching him. If this were a dream he would have disappeared as soon as I woke up. He did not. I saw every minute detail of him, he was that close.
Then I began to see what I have seen many times in the morning as I am waking with my eyes still closed. I see rows and rows across my entire field of vision of small circles of light. The rows are sometimes on the diagonal and sometimes straight up and down. I always thought that perhaps this was a dimension I was just coming out of and would see it upon beginning to wake but this morning after seeing the hawk I felt sure that this is a code. Since seeing the hawk the patterns have changed and become more intricate.
I find this up close visit amazing as the hawk is all about seeing the higher view and that is what I was writing about. On top of that a woman in France had just begun posting pictures of St Therese of Lisieux wearing her Joan of Arc costume. St Therese was devoted to Joan of Arc and would write and perform in plays dressed as her. She also posted a quote of Therese saying “Most of all I imitate the behavior of Mary Magdalene, for her amazing – or, rather, loving – audacity which delighted the heart of Jesus, has cast it’s spell upon mine.”
St Therese of Lisieux
I mention this because of the synchronicity of all this for me. During the time when I was receiving communication from Mary Magdalene I began communicating with St. Therese. She is the one who encouraged me to always look at the higher view.
For me, it has always been Magdalene, St Therese and Joan of Arc. Joan of Arc came in around that time too in many ways but did not communicate in words until years later. These three incredible women are intimately connected with each other and with us. In these times of great chaos and transformation it is essential to have a connection with the beloveds who are in constant communication with us if only we will see.
Joan of Arc
What does this all mean? I continue to follow the breadcrumbs and now after many encounters with the hawk, this one being the most incredible of all, I know I am being asked to consider an even higher view than ever before. What follows are my thoughts and inspirations on the higher view of illness and particularly those experiencing illness and spiritual revelation side by side. This is what I was writing about when the hawk appeared and St.Therese, Magdalene and Joan of Arc kept appearing in my newsfeed on Facebook.
Magdalene
In these days of great evolution and revolution I find myself in two worlds and perhaps that is just the way it is meant to be. My soul, the spirit I have been since the beginning calls to me day and night, sometimes in a gentle whisper and sometimes with a strength so powerful it almost knocks me down.
In the midst of this spiritual calling I live in this body in this world. As the physical body also calls out day and night clamoring for my attention I am constantly living in an exaggerated dual existence, or so it seems.
The more I travel my path upon this earthly plane the less I seem to truly know, for what do we really know for sure, for nothing is what it seems. For sure most these days find this dense physical existence a challenge as our spirits continue to call us higher and higher. It is a calling that cannot be denied. It is our soul truth, our divine birthright, our one true knowing. It is the antidote to all untruths; this I do know for sure.
There is a particular challenge when the body is not in resonance with this earth plane. Perhaps the remembrance and yearning for that original higher state of being is the cause of such imbalance. Perhaps the soul has taken this journey in this life upon itself as a soul contract.
What does it mean when an illness goes hand in hand with a spiritual awakening ? What does it mean when so many lightworkers suffer from long term physical illness? It is a multidimensional question with a multidimensional answer.
During our stay on this planet and through our experience with the body and the soul we do receive moments of insight and glimpses of what lies beyond the veil. I have seen many of these but they are only a tiny bit of the layers upon layers of what makes up the circumstances of our lives.
Illness and the ascension of the soul happening simultaneously is a very particular state of being. I believe there are elements that exist within the limits and confines of the illness that are grounding forces. By that I mean that many of us have the tendency to exist in the higher realms and the illness itself keeps us grounded to the earth. In the enormous spectrum of what makes up each individuals situation, in my own experience I feel this is part of why the illness may be present.
There is also the aspect of being forced to live a more quiet secluded life. There can be times of great silence where all you can hear and feel are the pains and frustrations of your physical condition. It seems you feel and hear nothing from spirit and that is when you may slip into the underworld. This can feel like an eternity. You call out and pray and are taken to what feels like the most desolate and desperate place.
When you wake each day perhaps after years of coping with such a challenge and you rise yet again to a new day the vibration of strength and fortitude and overcoming radiates out across the planet and this I do know for sure.
Within the day in day out moment to moment reality of living with this heaviness upon the body and the soul ascending there is a constant balancing act, when done with love, gratitude and grace this sends out a vibration of balance.
When you are thankful for every small thing you do have, when nothing has gone the way you thought it should this sends out the vibration of gratitude. When you overcome time and again fear, loneliness and desperation that this challenge brings, you send out a vibration of courage and strength and somewhere this radiates out to someone in need of just that at that particular moment.
I do know these things for sure for once I was blessed to see the higher view during the final stages of my dear friend’s illness. As she lay in her hospital bed unable to walk she was filled with grace and gratitude. She traversed her entire long and painful journey with cancer in this way.
I called her as I did each day and on this particular day she said “Oh Gail it is so terrible I am watching what is happening to the people in Hurricane Katrina on T.V”. I said “Oh no turn it off, don’t watch that.” I thought my God with all she is going through she should not put herself through watching something so terribly upsetting. Suddenly I see a vision before my eyes. I see an entire family stranded on the roof of a house as the waters rise and then I see something like an energetic thread going from my friend Sally to them and I am shown something I will never forget as long as I live.
I saw that the grace and gratitude and hope that Sally was emanating even though she was unable to get up out of that bed and walk was sustaining those people on that roof. Sally could have been filled with fear and hopelessness as they must have been, feeling trapped on the roof with the waters rising and no help in sight. Through her faith and her grace she sent out a loving vibration and filled that family with the strength and courage they needed to survive. I saw it with my eyes. I felt it in my heart. It was one of the greatest blessings of my entire life and I was able to share it with her at that very moment. I remember how when I told her she was covered in chills and I was too. I was able to tell her the higher view of what she was doing. We could feel as the energy moved through us both that this was true. Can you imagine if we could always see the effects we are having at a higher level?
At a deeper level and considering the state of affairs around the world perhaps those of us suffering effects on our physical bodies are in some way mitigating and transforming the kinds of bacteria and viruses that are now becoming life threatening on the planet.
Think of how challenging it is at this time for even healthy people to keep a positive attitude and stay focused on the higher view. For those of us who wake each day coping with great physical challenges the task is much more difficult. It feels as if each moment of every day we must practice the art of ascension.
I have written before about the attitudes in the spiritual community concerning illness. I have experienced them first hand as many have. I believe those attitudes are a part of the old paradigm. There are of course magnificent healers who have the ability to see in a higher multidimensional way with open minds and hearts. They are constantly evolving out of the old paradigms because they themselves are ascending into higher places of understanding. I am ever thankful to have such an evolved healing soul in my life.
This is a multilayered, multidimensional complicated issue. There are also outer forces that can and do play a part in hoping to derail and confuse people who do have their hearts and souls on the higher view. I have been shown some of this pertaining to my own situation.
Of course there are traumas from this life and lives past that cause physical illness. I sometimes wonder too if perhaps much more is expected of those of us awake and aware and any anger, bitterness or inability to forgive disturbs that delicate balance of health and well being.
What does it all mean? Perhaps when our time here has ended and we pass over we will know the answers. For now we have only questions and the job of forging ahead as we continue to participate in our healing, keeping our hearts and souls on the higher view.
The hawk came with a message. Look up. Wake up. All is not what it seems. I have continued to see the patterns of light upon waking. Now that I have been given the understanding that this is a code perhaps I will begin to understand more.
I am continuing to process my trip to see John of God. It was such an intimate experience I was not able to write about it. My challenge with my physical health continues, however after being home for a while some amazing things began to happen. I have a story to tell. I am in the process of still receiving information and writing about it.
I do know that it is important that I write and speak about this subject of illness and transformation and that is one of the many, many reasons I continue on this journey. I know there are so many of you traveling this path. Know that you are not alone even though this is such a lonely journey. We are being aided and guided. There is a purpose for every single thing we experience. We are warriors. We are transmuting huge energies. Our lives have great meaning here and in the higher realms. You are loved and appreciated by magnificent beings of light. There are reasons we are in the quiet, in seclusion. Listen carefully, there are divine messages meant for you everywhere.
I bow to you. I send you my love and appreciation. Thank you for all you do. I know the struggle and heartache and I know the joy and rapture of the divine. It is a metaphor for this earth existence and our connection with heaven.
This particular situation is my particular journey however every one of us is coping with something in our lives that we must rise above. This is our spiritual journey here on earth. It is not easy but we are here living these lives in these bodies. At the same time we are being guided and adored and are constantly being showered with everything we need.
I once saw a great shower of light raining down on Jesus and Mary Magdalene. They were aware of it. They knew what was happening and what the heavenly light was providing them. It was their saving grace and it is ours.
Know that what you do is seen and noted. It is recorded in The Book of Love. We must remember that we are not alone. Faith through the most difficult circumstances creates a power that can change the world. Love for yourself and for all brings peace and harmony to a world that has forgotten that love is all there is. Laughter is the greatest healer of all. It is the language of the angels. We know all these things. We just have to keep remembering. As we continue to make raising our consciousness the top priority though all these trials and challenges we help to raise the consciousness of all.
I have been guided to speak of these things and so I follow the guidance. We may not know the reason we are guided to do or say something but there are always reasons beyond our knowing. There is always the higher view.
May we all continue on this incredible journey with love and faith and accept the help and guidance that comes our way in whatever form. May we continue to express our true selves so that we may help the earth and one another as we continue to move through our fascinating, challenging and complicated lives on earth.
As I was trying to finish writing this I did begin to write my story that began with my trip to John of God in Brazil. It is a long story but I feel it is an important one. It is personal and global. A link to my blog follows below.
911 and the Crystal Stars of Love and Hope
This is a story of how the divine feminine is awakening and emerging as never before. This is the story of how the divine feminine works. This is the beauty of three sisters divine finding each other and finding truth. A trinity flowing like water, weaving a story meant to be told, loving and supporting each other through the unveiling of our own hearts and souls. We are the living waters bringing love and truth back to a land parched and dry with untruths. The divine feminine is rising and there is no stopping her.
The Heart of Love 